so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
