sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
