I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
