have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
