I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
