So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
