Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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