so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
