so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
