Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
