At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
