There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize