I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
