i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Say something about gay babies.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
