dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So vagazzling was a success
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
