I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
