Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
