carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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