No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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