ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
