You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
