I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
