Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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