even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
