When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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