You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize