brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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