looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
