Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
