sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
