Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
