Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
