Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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