where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize