i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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