There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
