She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
