this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
