So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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