I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Too much gin, very little bucket
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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