This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
