i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
