operation harelip BJ is a go
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
