i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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