you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
