If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
