I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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