new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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