Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
