so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
