i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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