the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize