My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
