who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
