Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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