can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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