I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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