Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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