brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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